November 18, 2006 -- YOU need a score card these days to keep track of which Hollywood stars swing both ways - and now there is one.
"The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe," by Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski, lists "famous fence-sitters" who've either outed themselves in interviews or are openminded about the idea of bedding both sexes.
Angelina Jolie once admitted, "Honestly, I like everything. Boyish girls, girlish boys," and said she was "the person most likely to sleep with my female fans." Chloe Sevigny revealed, "I've questioned issues of gender and sexuality since I was a teenager, and I did some experimenting."
Drew Barrymore, who says she dated lots of women in her younger days, crowed, "I think a woman and a woman together are beautiful, just as a man and a woman together are beautiful." And singer Carnie Wilson confessed, "I was with a woman when I was about 15 to 16 years old, I was really horny and I would fantasize about boobs." Alanis Morissette, who's also experimented, advised, "I think everybody should do it. I recommend it."
Men aren't shy about revealing their preferences, either.
Legendary Playboy founder Hugh Hefner, famed as a womanizer, chalked up his younger days of swinging as "really bisexual." Robert Downey Jr., who's played bisexual characters in his movies, has also copped to a sexually ambiguous past. And comic Andy Dick revealed, "I have been with men . . . and I'm not ashamed of it. Besides, a lot of women like that because they like to see a man in touch with his feminine side - to be able to be with men and not be embarrassed about it."
Jake Gyllenhaal, who heated up the screen with Heath Ledger in "Brokeback Mountain," says that while he's not attracted to men sexually, "I don't think I would be afraid of it if it happened." And Sting crowed, "It's very simple. Everybody's bisexual."
His sentiment is shared by author Kristal, who told Page Six, "If you define bisexuality as having the impulse to try it even just once, then everybody is bisexual."
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The Best Books of 2006
By Ronni Radner
Dec. 28, 2006-Jan. 10, 2007—If you’ve already quit smoking, lost weight, started working out regularly and become a more communicative partner, perhaps the best resolution to make for 2007 is to turn off that Heroes marathon, log out of MySpace, and put your queer nose behind a great book. Here are some of our favorite GLBT books of 2006.
The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe: Quips, Tips, and Lists for Those Who Go Both Ways by Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski (Alyson) Fittingly compiled by both a bi man and a bi woman, this fun tome—chockfull of quizzes and humorous stories—is a comprehensive, entertaining resource for those who fall somewhere in the middle of the Kinsey scale.
The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe has been discussed on The Stephanie Miller Show on Air America for it’s bi celeb content and info on bisexual animals.
Co-author Nicole Kristal appeared on the Greaseman Show on WMET 1160 AM in Maryland where she realized why all those bimbos flirt so shamelessly on shock jock shows—they’re trying to promote something while being treated like a piece of meat. (Not an easy feat!)
Mike Szymanski recently appeared on The Morning Show for 92 KQRS, Minnesota’s Classic Rock where he challenged a gang of straight people to stop telling him he was gay and actually ponder their close-minded antics.
Nicole and Mike appeared together on psychologist Stuart Altschuler’s show “Tell the Truth Faster” on KXAM 1310 Phoenix for a whole hour on Jan. 26 during which they explained the nuances of the orientation.
The pair also appeared on the Gary Burbank Show on 700 WLW Cincinnati on President’s Day, during which they discussed U.S. presidents rumored to be bisexual.
On Feb. 21, Nicole and Mike chatted it up on Live 88.5 in Ottowa, Canada on the Lauren Stone Show, while Nicole appeared on the “Fetish Show” for Manta-Raydio.com later that same day. The pair also appeared together on the Edge Radio Show on www.RGIN.com where they chatted for 40 minutes with two lovely gay and bisexual chaps in the Midwest.
Nicole appeared live on “The Drew and Mike Show” on WRIF Radio Detroit on March 13 and on OUT Q in the Morning with Larry Flick on Sirius radio on March 14 the day after he teased Madonna for using the word, “whack.”
The pair chatted it up with Kim Iverson about her bisexual brother on the morning show for WAZY in LaFayette, Indiana in early April, but most recently Nicole and Mike had the privilege of appearing live on the Tiffany Granath “Afternoon Advice” show on Playboy Radio. The dynamic duo had the pleasure of answering questions from fencesitters across the country for an hour and had an absolute blast.
Entertainment writer Mike Szymanski has a bookshelf filled with bisexual and gay books. Scanning his bookshelf, he noticed that the difference between the bisexual books and the gay books is that books by, for, and about bisexuals are dry and are still couched in academic language, while the gay books are funny and edgy, poking fun at the stereotypes. This provided Szymanski and co-author Nicole Kristal the vision for the Bisexual's Guide to the Universe.
"Bisexuality is pretty funny, and there's nothing funny about bisexuality out there," said Szymanski. "The gay books are fun, they're the kind of books you can pick up and read. They have a lot of attitude. They play off the stereotypes and things like that. There are tons more stereotypes with bisexuality. Some of them are true, and some of them are not true. We wanted to play off that, and we wanted to educate."
A user-friendly guide, the Bisexual's Guide to the Universe takes a joy ride fully equipped into the bi community. Kristal and Szymanski use their keen, politically incorrect senses of humor to slice and dice what it means to be bi in a straight and gay world, bringing everyone gay, straight, queer, and questioning along for the adventure.
Packed with un-Cosmo-like quizzes, celebrity quotes about their bi ways, and lists such as "You're probably bisexual if," star bi's, and bi wannabes, it's a wild, side-splitting ride through the bisexual world, which happens to be straight and queer, but definitely not narrow.
Starting off in the slow lane with the beginner's section, Kristal and Szymanski deftly navigate the stereotypes that plague the bi community, the derogatory words that have been flung like mud, and the definitions experts have written about and scientific studies scientists have done trying to define bisexuality.
"We try to flip those derogatory slurs and make them funny," said Kristal. "We call ourselves fence-sitters, which is something that people in the bi community won't do. We'll joke about it. We don't want it to be offensive anymore."
With the basics covered, it's easy to merge into the center lane, where the authors pick apart and poke fun at everything from coming out not once but twice, to the elusive bidar, to bad bi fashion, to the fabled dating opportunities and multiple relationships. No one said being bi is easy.
For the potholes in life, Kristal and Szymanski provide insightful tips such as how to come out to your hippie mother, set boundaries, and date a bisexual (don't expect a threeway). When inspiration is needed during difficult times, Kristal and Szymanski offer handy lists of great bi cons, bi-themed films, books, and TV shows, noted bi moments in history, and a who's who of bi leaders to keep the bi pride coming.
Entering into the fast lane, it's all about why bisexuals might be home on a Saturday night (read the book to find out) and becoming a model bisexual. They answer the hard questions: Why do they (queers and straights) hate us? Are bisexuals better in bed? They provide ways to identify and combat biphobia, and deliver on an action-packed section between the sheets.
Kristal and Szymanski cover everything without missing a beat. The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe is not just for bisexuals, but also for those who don't understand, maybe even hate, and those who love bisexuals. This lighthearted guide is the antidote to biphobia, and a book bisexuals can stand up for and be proud.
On the record
Heather Cassell: What makes this a good time to publish a book about bisexuals?
Nicole Kristal: I think that bisexuality is perpetually trendy. There's always a new wave of bisexual trends that come out, and Newsweek does a story about it every five or 10 years.
Mike Szymanski: The movies always hint about it. TV is becoming a lot more open to understanding it and using it in their plotlines without too much confusion.
How do you know if you're bisexual?
NK: You're bisexual if you get that tingle between your legs for a man or a woman. You just simplify it based on physical attraction and desire, are honest with yourself, and realize it doesn't have to be one or the other.
Is there a bidar?
NK: People do pick up on it. It is a distinct type of energy. It's sort of a melding of a male and female energy, a down-to-earth quality, not usually super-obsessed with fashion.
MS: It's an ease and a comfort that some people don't have. I think that bi guys and women tend to be a lot more easy-going and a lot more comfortable with things that may otherwise be shocking or uncomfortable.
Is there a solid bi community?
MS: BiNet USA did an amazing job unifying us in the 90s, but the more we all got together, the more I realized how different we all are. There are so many people who have their foot solidly in the heterosexual community, and so many who are so involved in the gay and lesbian communities. I facetiously said that we should all go back into our closets because until we develop our own culture and have our own freedom rings and flags that identify us as bisexuals, then we won't have a community.
NK: It's got to be mainstream, it can't just be grassroots. The fact of the matter is. a lot of bisexuals don't want to call themselves bisexual. The way we can build a community is through the Internet, by building websites that aren't just about sex and hooking up.
You mentioned clothing and symbols. Is there a bi fashion sense?
NK: I think it's the androgyny. It's like you don't know if you're going to go tomboy butch or femme one day, and you end up mixing it all together, and that's what got you a weird look. Sometimes I'll put an outfit together, but it's never totally femme. I'll always wear some big shoes or something that fucks it up, and I'll be like, damn it, why can't I get this right?
MS: My gay friends have tried to dress me for years. They've just given up. They always said, "We can tell you have a straight side in you: look at the way you dress!"
NK: I'm sure there are a lot of very well-dressed bisexuals out there.
MS: We just don't know any.
Talking with the authors of 'The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe'
02/08/2007
by Heather Cassell
The Bay Area Reporter
April 18, 2007
The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe: Quips, Tips, and Lists for Those Who Go Both Ways by Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski (Alyson Books)
Though the title of Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski's new book is called The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe, it is actually, as they write in the preface, for "fence-sitters, chameleons, switch-hitters, pansexuals, omnisexuals, whatevers, and all those who loathe labels."
Nominated for Lambda's inaugural bisexual book award, The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe is funny, informative and insightful. Divided into useful categories — Beginner, Intermediate and Advanced — the chapters explore the world of bisexuality from every possible perspective.
Kristal and Szymanski's lists incorporate the practical "You're Probably Bisexual If" to the hilarious "Bisexual Myths We Wish Were True" (e.g., "everyone's bisexual when they're drunk") and include helpful questionnaires such as "The R-U-Bi?"
The book also contains a history of bisexuality, seduction tips, bi figures ("A 2006 California State University study shows that women are 27 percent more likely than men to be attracted to the same sex") and a catalog of bi animals (add dogs, oysters and flamingos to the list) and cartoon figures (Popeye, of course).
One of the more interesting chapters breaks down how to come out to different people (for example, "radical-right dad" or "hippie mom") in your life. The suggestions range from "do consider not telling him at all" to "do tell her anytime" and combine advice with handy facts: "Do mention that Leviticus, aside from condemning homosexuality, also supports the notion of selling women into slave labor."
The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe is a sexy, comprehensive and entertaining read regardless of where you rate on the Kinsey scale. (And by the way, most people fall somewhere in the middle.)
