Wake up guys, going Dutch is so 1994!
When you’re bisexual, half the time you’re dating someone where gender rules apply, and during the other half, you’re improvising or ignoring them altogether. Women have to make up their own rules for how those gender roles apply when the check comes at the end of the meal.
For me it’s simple: when I go out with a guy, I expect him to pay. When I go out with a girl, depending on whether it’s a date, I will either pay, she will pay or we will split the check.
My attitude towards guys sounds traditional, doesn’t it? Maybe I need to wake up and accept that chivalry is dead.
Nah.
Chivalry serves an important purpose in both same sex and heterosexual relationships and here is why: Chivalry = consideration. When someone pays for you, it says, “I consider you worth it.” It says, “I’m going to take that gamble and risk wasting my money on you even if you don’t like me because I like you that much.” And when a guy lets you pay when you do the fake wallet grab and you’re on a romantic date, I’m sorry but it doesn’t empower you as a woman. It doesn’t make you feel like the new wave of feminism worked. It just makes you feel not that special and like your date is cheap.
I went out with this German guy months ago. He asked me out. I met him at a coffee shop in Venice. My iced tea cost $1.50. He watched me order it. And he watched me pay. Guess what? I didn’t date that guy for that long.
Yes, it’s a double standard. I should apply the same rules to the women I date, but I don’t. Why? Because I’m a woman. I know what most women make, and it’s not a lot. Now granted, some guys are in the same boat as us. I don’t care. They need to suck it up and whip out their Visas. It’s not like we’re eating at five star restaurants.
Instead they passively sit and wonder, “Is this really a date? Should I pay” or think, “She’s asking what she owes so she must want to pay.” Or worse yet: “I’m broke. I can’t afford this. I’m going to let her pay.” No girl wants to pay for herself. Guys pay for us. That’s one of the best perks of being a girl. And when we’re out on a date with you on a Saturday night and the guy behind the counter at the movie theater has to redo the ticket order when we don’t pay together, it makes you look like a total fucking douchebag and makes the girl think, “What the fuck am I doing here?”
If the cost of dating is breaking you financially guys, just fake it...at least for the first few dates. Then admit your financial shortcomings after you’ve already proven you have talents or appeal in other areas. It’s the effort in the beginning that really counts
It’s not about the money. It’s about selfishness. Paying for your date, male or female, says you’re not selfish. Selfishness as a whole is a wretched quality in both males and females. You don’t want to be perceived as being selfish even if you are.
So for the love of god guys, treat your girls, especially if it’s someone you really like. It’ll pay off later.
p.s. One more thing guys—some bi gals have dated wealthy lesbians that make you look even more retarded when you act like the accountant in “Kissing Jessica Stein” at the end of the meal and say, “You didn’t get wine, so you owe a little less. We split the salad. You had more goat cheese, so that one will cost you slightly more.”
—Nicole
The Infamous Wallet Grab
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
